In 2015 depression came calling. I found myself crying when I saw or heard anything about the injustices of Hillsborough or Saville’s crimes. I was working in a management role in the NHS and becoming increasingly distressed by what I could see happening around me. I saw how the NHS prioritized its reputation over the needs of patients and their families. When things went wrong NHS directors would protect themselves without thought for those hurt or harmed. It was an impossible climate for me to work in, memories of what happened to Alison were stirring, past hurts were coming back to life. After being gaslighted and bullied for expressing my concerns, I suffered a breakdown. I went to see a Psychologist who helped me understand my distress – unsurprisingly, it was the confusion I still felt about Alison.

After all these years, I still could not understand how Alison had been treated so wrongly, and nobody held accountable? Getting behind the scenes in the NHS awoke me to the possibility that what happened to her was not a one-off incident, but the logical outcome of a broken culture. The penny was dropping; I could see how the truth had been hidden to protect reputations. My Psychologist helped me realize that if I wanted peace of mind, I needed to get to the bottom of what had happened to Alison.

In 2015, I requested notes from the 2001 investigation by Cumbria Police. When I received them, all the medical records and documents I had located were missing from the file and it dawned on me why the original investigation had failed. I asked Cumbria Police to come and see me at the earliest opportunity.

In Autumn Senior Officers from Cumbria Police sat in my home and assured me the investigation in 2001 had been of a good standard. They said there was nothing to be gained by reopening it and personally vouched for the colleagues who had undertaken that investigation. They were lying. The investigation of 2001 was later exposed as a fiasco, described by the Police themselves as poor and flawed. Cumbria Police had given the CPS an incomplete file, officers had failed to interview witnesses and hadn’t created a basic investigation plan. Despite their attempts to stop a new investigation, in Autumn 2016 they were forced to reopen the case after we gave them the evidence they “mislaid” years earlier. Now we felt there was a chance to get justice for Alison. Once again we would be disappointed.

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